Funny 50th Birthday Wishes & Quotes to Make Them Laugh

Happy 50th birthday! You are aging like wine. Congratulations!

The older you get, the brighter your cake becomes. See? It’s all filled with burning candles. Have fun blowing!

Every single birthday of yours is a reminder for me that I’m not the oldest person here! Happy 50th, cheers!

Turning 50 is like getting a new upgrade! More wisdom, more memories and more doctor visits! Happy Birthday!

It’s just about gaining a few more grey hairs than me, nothing else to be worried about. Happy 50th birthday!

Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and John Bon Jovi have already turned 50 and now one more superstar has joined the club. Happy 50th birthday!

You are just 35 with 15 bonus years. Wishing you a Happy 50th birthday!

You are halfway to a hundred but that doesn’t guarantee you will live that long. Happy 50th birthday.

You are no longer the oldest person I know in their 40’s. Now you are the youngest 50-year-old I know.

Don’t worry about getting older. You can still go for facelifts to wipe out the wrinkles. Happy birthday!

Your 40’s are behind you now, so you should have your midlife crisis out of your system. Be proud! You wear it well!

Wishing you a great 50th birthday, buddy! I hope no one calls you grandpa! :D

Now that you are an old 50-year-old, you only have 10 years before I call you an old 60-year-old.

I hope you have already saved enough money for retirement. It’s time to count them all. Happy 50th birthday!

Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy Birthday you old fart!

Happy 50th birthday, dear! Now it’s time for you to become wise and old!

Congrats! You have lived 50 years. Now the hardest part is reading this without your glasses!

You are 50 now! You have more years behind you than ahead, but at least you can blame things on age!

Don’t ever bother spending money on anti-aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion. Happy birthday old-timer.

As you turn 50 you can age as gracefully as you like – flaunt your grays and wrinkles or use modern technology to hide them. Whichever path you choose, it only happens once so do it well and have a wonderful birthday!

You are half a century, or 5 decades, or 50 years, or 600 months, or 2609 weeks, or 18262 days, or 438288 hours, or 26297280 minutes, or 1577836800 minutes old, depending on what unit of measure you are using. Hey, at least I didn’t figure it out for seconds. Happy 50th birthday!

When you are above the age of 50, you no longer have the right to politely decline an offer of a train seat. Wishing you all the best on your 50th! Age brings experience, and sometimes age is all that one has.

As we grow older, we become more open-minded and understanding. So, you would still understand if I didn’t buy you a gift right? Cheers to you on your special day!

Now the rest of your life will depend on whether you have fun by being nifty or you become bored by being thrifty. The choice is yours. Happy 50th birthday.

Midlife crisis is a label that is given to fifty year olds to stop them from being the best they can. Forget these labels and enjoy life to the fullest. Happy birthday.

By now, our generation has lived through and seen it all. There’s just too much information for us to recall. Congratulations on becoming 50 years old and here’s to many more experiences we won’t remember.

I would make a joke about how old you are getting, but I’m worried that if I hurt your feelings I might not get a chance to apologize to you since you are getting so old. Happy 50th!

Happy 50th birthday! You can forget about mortgages, contraception, and school fees in your fifties. You will probably forget everything else as well, but at least now you will have an excuse.

Now that you are 50 you have probably got more hair where you don’t want it and less hair where you do want it. You can’t fight it but at least you can still let your hair down and have fun on your birthday!

“Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles.” – Melanie White

“Turning 50 means it’s only a matter of time before you’re regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy.” – Greg Tamblyn

“50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.” – Greg Tamblyn

“When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I’m fifty. I haven’t seen anything.” – Eric Satie

“Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.” – Phyllis Diller

“Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you?” – Melanie White

“The face you have at age twenty-five is the face God gave you, but the face you have after fifty is the face you earned.” – Cindy Crawford

I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin. – Melanie White

“You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head.” – Melanie White

“At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.”

“As you get older three things to happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

“In your 20s: Looking for your perfect match. In your 50s: Just happy if your socks match.” – East of Sweden

Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy 50th birthday!

You have been in your thirties for so many years. I’m quite unsure about your age this year. Maybe it’s the fifty. Happy birthday anyway!

Something special in you always helps you stand out in a crowd. That’s your age!

I believe you are here since the dawn of time. Dinosaurs have gone extinct, but you are still here. Congratulations to you and happy 50th birthday, of course!

A man never gets older, he can only get wiser. Remember this quote forever, and you will never feel sad. Happy birthday!

Now that you are 50 years old, it’s time for you to think about your grandchild’s expenses! :P Happy Birthday! :D

May this 50th birthday of yours be celebrated by 50 ex-girlfriends of your past! Just kidding! Happy Birthday, bro!

Happy 50th Birthday, friend! Now stop dreaming about 50 other women and settle on the one you have! :D

Having tolerated you for 50 years, I wish to do so for another 50 years. Even if one of us is buried! :P Happy Birthday!

I’m good with numbers, and your age always fascinates me. I believe you have been here since the beginning of this universe!

I always get my inspiration from you. You are such a strong and courageous woman. I don’t think anyone else survived the dinosaurs except you!

Today you have achieved a milestone. A 50-year older woman’s 50th birthday to my favorite old and not so wise lady!

Growing older and growing wiser are two different cases. And I don’t blame you for that. Happy birthday my sweetheart!

I hope to celebrate your 50th birthday for many more years to come. Here’s a happy birthday from me for year one!

Put your age out of your mind. Everything is OK as long as you can successfully extinguish your birthday candles. Best wishes on your 50th birthday!

Your hard work has paid off; you have reached the golden years. Do you find yourself wondering where you put your keys? Not sure whether you remember where you put your phone. I’m curious as to what day it is. No matter what, best wishes for your 50th birthday!

You should be serene, respectful, and serious, as befitting your age. But you know what? Let them down! Best wishes on your special 50th day!

In some ways, turning fifty may mark the end of your youth. But there’s no reason you can’t be sneaky and cool. Happy 50th birthday! Keep your smile on while you still can.

For me, your birthday is like a national holiday. Whatever I do and wherever I maybe, I will always find ways to wish you a happy birthday!

Dear Mom, I hope you know how hard it is to find you a birthday gift every year because you have too many birthdays! Just kidding. Happy 50th birthday to you!

Happy 50th birthday, mom! You tolerated me for many years. Now, it is time to tolerate your grandchildren soon! :D

Don’t ever let dad say you are getting old. You are still as youthful and gorgeous as you were in your thirties. Happy 50th birthday, mom!

Wishing you a happy and great 50th birthday, mom! Tell dad not to be jealous of unfading beauty and increasing wisdom! Haha!

I wonder what your friends would gift you on your birthdays when you were my age? Ancient papyrus greeting cards?

I know it hurts to see people enjoying the fact that you are getting older and greyer. But you are not getting younger anyway. Happy 50th birthday, dad!

Today, so many people will bring gifts for you. But since it’s difficult for you to keep all the gifts, I’m thinking of helping you by keeping them all.

You have reached the golden age of 50 and can finally take advantage of all those discounted tickets you have been hearing about. Happy 50th anyway papa I still look up to you!

I aim to look just like you when I grow older, only with longer hair. I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating your half-century as a father. You still have a lot of time to mature.

I prayed to God to make you older and wiser. Only the first one came true. Happy birthday my love. Wishing God bless you with the second one as soon as possible.

I know it’s hard to enjoy being old when you are old. But, hey, it’s okay if you ask me. I had just passed the same line a few years ago. Happy 50th birthday!

From now on, you can enjoy all your senior citizen discounts, just like me. Happy 50th birthday and best wishes to you!

Even If your teeth are falling, your toothless smile is still precious to me. Happy Birthday! You have reached the point in your life when your creaky joints are louder than your speech.

The calendar says you are no longer young, yet you look as stunning as ever! Beautiful, happy 50th birthday to you!

Today is the day you can pretend to be young even though you are not. Happy 50th birthday, my love.

Half of our budget for celebrating your birthday went to buying candles. Try getting younger or stop getting more birthdays!

I have known you for so many years, and I must admit that you are much older today than you were when we first met. Happy 50th birthday, dear!

My love, you know what’s special about you? It’s your age! It just keeps growing! Just joking! Happy 50th birthday, love!

As your wife, I should support you in all good deeds! And today, I support you in finally revealing your real age! :D Happy Birthday, dear hubby!

Dear buddy, it’s time for you to find a wife for your son. So stop flirting with other women! Just kidding, buddy! Happy Birthday!

Happy 50th Birthday, buddy! The more you age, the younger I feel to be around you! :D

When I think of all the crazy stuff we have done together over the years, I can’t believe how young you look. I hope you have a wonderful 50th!

Don’t stress about becoming older just because you are turning 50. Imagine all the slices of cake you will be eating! Happy 50th birthday my buddy. I can’t wait to start frightening the elderly staff at the nursing home.

Happy 50 years of weirdness, craziness, and hilarity, brother! I wish we live long enough to enjoy more years of beating up each other! :D Happy 50th Birthday, bro!

Happy Birthday, brother! On your 50th birthday, I want to tell you a secret. Do you want to know what that is? If you want to, then you have to live another 50 years! :D

The nicest part about reaching 50 is that people will automatically think you are crazy and believe everything you say. I hope you find someone like you and have a fantastic 50th birthday!

While it’s true that around the age of 40, you can really start living your life after you reach age 50, things really start to heat up! Have fun celebrating your silver jubilee for a second time! Happy 50th, sister!